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Monday, June 23, 2008
* Never criticize while listening, and never attack another person for his or her feelings. This spoils your reputation as a listener and will completely remove the speaker's motivation to speak up.
* Listening is about creating a caring environment in which the other person feels encouraged by your ability to understand.
* Don't judge anyone for their opinion or actions. Remember you, like everyone else has done or felt something you're not proud of now. ask yourself 'Who am I to judge anyone?'
* The more you listen, the more trusted you become.
* The more difficult listening becomes, the more important it is to listen.
* Remember that when your counterpart feels that he or she has been listened to, he or she is much more likely to listen to your ideas. On the contrary, if no one ever listened to each other, then they would fall victim to bad listening, and would not have a chance to fully express themselves. Your desire to express should begin with listening well to others.
* Postpone an important conversation if you are not in the mood to listen. It is better to not talk about it if you are not ready than to try to force through a conversation where you are too distracted by emotions, worries, and other things that prevent you from listening.
* Avoid phrases that imply that you have not listened fully to the points communicated to you such as "Yeah but..." Instead, learn to use phrases that provide confirmation that you have heard the other side fully, such as "I see. Now tell me what you would say to this..."
* Keep in mind that sometimes we need to listen "between the lines," but there are times when we need to absorb things at face value. When we listen intensively, our minds are often busy placing what we hear into the situation and our emotions, which creates barriers to our ability to listen fully what is being said. This is similar to making judgments and drawing conclusions before all has been said. Don't do that. Take it at its face value and go with the flow.
Remember this warnings
* Never assume that what worked for you will work for everyone else as well.
* Never try to fit in your biographical account and "been-there-done-that" experiences into what the speaker is saying. It is better to keep quiet, even if you have had the same problem a year ago and you know how to work your way out. If you listen well, it is quite possible that your suggestions and experience will be solicited later on.
* If you find yourself formulating a response before the other person has finished speaking, you are not listening.
* The more confident you are in your own idea, the more you should be willing to suspend that point of view for the moment.
* If a person pauses as if trying to think of the right word, don't jump in with a word of your own. Some people are careful about their choice of words. It doesn't mean they need help. Finishing someone's thought is rude and disruptive.
6. Wait for the person to open up. In the process of encouraging a constructive response, an active listener must continue to be patient and let the speaker acquire his or her full flow of thoughts, feelings, and ideas. Keep yourself in his or her shoes and try to estimate why he or she is in such a situation.
7. Use body gestures and facial expressions to express your interest and to unearth what is left unsaid. Active listening involves the entire body and face--both yours and that of the speaker:
* Your expression: Look interested and meet the gaze of your speaker from time to time. Do not overwhelm the speaker by staring intently, but do reflect friendliness and openness to what you are listening to.
* Read between the lines: Always be alert for things that have been left unsaid or for cues that can help you gauge the speaker's true feelings. Watch the facial and body expressions of the speaker to try to gather all information you can, not just from the words. Imagine what kind of state of mind would have made you acquire such expressions, body language, and volume.
* Speak at approximately the same energy level as the other person. This way, he or she will know that the message is getting through and that there is no need to repeat.
8. Be patient and respect pauses. Do not jump to speak up after the speaker has come to his or her own conclusions or resolutions and there is a pause. It is possible that more is yet to be said by the speaker. Let the speaker be the first to break this silence. You can always come back with your solutions or suggestions next time you talk, or the speaker may ask you to clarify your thoughts or offer more opinions at the time. Listening is about understanding another person, not about making suggestions (unless asked).
9. Try to reassure the speaker that all is well. Whatever the conclusion of the conversation, let the speaker know that you have been happy to listen and to be a sounding board. Make it clear that you are open to further discussion if need be, but that you will not pressure him or her at all. In addition, reassure the speaker of your intention to keep the discussion confidential. Offer to assist with any solutions if you have the ability, time, and expertise. Do not build up false hopes, however. If the only resource you can provide is to continue to be an active listener, make that very clear; in and of itself, this is a very valuable help to any person.
10. Accept that everyone has a unique thought process and ways to express himself/herself. Too often we jump to conclusion before others finish talking because we place information we hear into our own thought process. Try not to do that. Instead, look for fine differences if it sounds like the speaker may be agreeing with you, and look for areas he or she might indicate agreement if it sounds like an objection. Understand that you do not need 100% agreement to reach the same decision.
11. Just because someone is speaking to you, do not presume that they are asking you for your input! All too often we think the other person really wants to know what we think about what they are saying…wrong! Wait, let the speaker ask you for your opinion, thoughts or ideas. Otherwise, you may become the speaker but you will not have a “listener” in the audience! This is a fun exercise. You may be surprised at how many people will NOT ask you for your input. And all these years that you have simply “chimed in” with your input, you thought they actually wanted it.
Listening is an essential part of communication, and it is different from hearing. Being a good and patient listener helps you not only solve many problems at work or home, but also to see the world through the eyes of others, thereby opening your understanding and enhancing your capacity for empathy. Besides which, you learn a lot from listening. As deceptively simple as listening to and acknowledging other people may seem, doing it well, particularly when disagreements arise, takes sincere effort and lots of practice.
Please following this steps
1. Place yourself in the other person's shoes. It is often too easy to wonder about how what the other person is telling you is impacting you. As you worry about this, you reflect any tension, annoyance, or irritation back in your body gestures and facial expressions. Active listening is not about inward thinking. Instead, you must draw away from the temptation to do this by looking at the issues from the other person's perspective and actively trying to see his or her point of view. It is not a good idea to consider yourself to be smarter than the speaker and assume that if you would have been in his or her shoes, you would have seen your way through the problem much faster.
2. Remove all distractions. Give the speaker 100% of your attention. Turn off cell phones, do not let your eyes wander about looking for a break, and politely brush aside any interruptions such as waiters or people who suddenly spot you and want to say "hello." It may be easiest to arrange to talk somewhere that such distractions will not occur.
3. Practice the empathetic sounding back technique. At appropriate intervals during the conversation, it is helpful to "summarize and restate" and/or "repeat and encourage" the main points:
* Repeat and encourage: Repeat some of the things said by the speaker. At the same time, encourage the speaker with positive feedback. For example, you might say: "You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. I can see why." Go easy with this technique, however, because if you overwork it, it may come across as being patronizing.
* Summarize and restate: It is also very useful to summarize what the speaker is saying and restate it in your own words. This is a form of reassuring the speaker that you have truly been listening to what he or she is saying. It also provides the speaker with an opportunity to correct any mistaken assumptions or misconceptions that have may have arisen during the course of the conversation. This is an especially good technique to try when you find yourself getting frustrated or restless in your listening.
4. Do not interrupt with what you feel or think about the topic being discussed. Wait for another person to ask your opinion before interrupting the flow of discussion. Active listening requires the listener to shelve his or her own opinions temporarily, and await appropriate breaks in the conversation for summarizing. Abstain from giving direct advice. Instead, let him or her talk the situation out and find his or her own way. Besides, if he or she takes your advice and something goes wrong, he or she will be likely to blame you (whether he or she tells you or not).
5. Ask meaningful and empowering questions. Do not seek to probe or make the other person defensive. Rather, aim to use questions as a means by which the speaker can begin to reach his or her own conclusions about the concerns or issues being raised. Once you have shown empathetic listening, it is time to move into empowering listening by re-framing the questions that you ask the the speaker. For example: "You didn't enjoy having to take the blame. But I cannot understand why you feel blamed rather than merely being asked not to do something that way." Wording the question in this manner presents the speaker with a need to respond directly to your lack of grasping something. In the process of doing so, the speaker should begin to move from a more emotional response to a more constructive response.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
* To talk without purpose is to ramble. If you want to be taken lightly, ramble.
* Do not whine or plead. Neither is guaranteed to instill respect or interest in the listener. If you are very upset, excuse yourself and come back to the discussion later when you have had a chance to think it through.
* Be careful with levity. While a little humor injected into what you are discussing can be very effective, do not take it too far and do not rely on it as a crutch to cover up the hard-to-say things. If you keep giggling and joking, your communication will not be taken seriously.
Saturday, June 21, 2008
* If the person is willing to talk to you about making amends, see this as an opportunity. If you've forgotten your wife's birthday, for instance, you might decide to celebrate another night and make it extra wonderful and romantic. This won't relieve you of responsibility for remembering the next important occasion, of course, but it will show that you're willing to take special time and effort.
* One apology will often cause another, either from you for something else you realized you are sorry for, or from the other person because they realize the conflict was mutual. Be prepared to forgive.
* A proper apology is always about the injured party. Keep your apology focused on the actual wrong done, and the recipient.
* Don't keep asking if he or she is mad at you. This puts the focus back on you, and makes you sound impatient and selfish. Just as it takes time to heal, it can take time to forgive.
* Sometimes attempted apologies turn into a rehash of the same argument you wanted to amend. Be very careful not to re-argue any topics or open any old wounds.
* Don't be too surprised (or suspicious) if you are forgiven. Take people at their word, just like they took your apology.
* Don't apologize unless you really mean it. You can spot a false apologies from a mile away, and so can others.
* Even if you feel that the conflict was partly because of the other person's miscommunication, do not say so in the middle of your apology. At most, mention briefly that the other person can help you avoid misunderstandings by reminding you when you step out of line, and apologize again for the hurt you caused.
* Do not talk about about how bad you feel. The apology is not about your guilt, your shame, your fear of rejection, your anxiety or your loneliness while waiting to be forgiven. It is about the other person - remember that, even if it seems to be taking them a long time to forgive you.
* Never assume that the injured party is "punishing" you by taking time to forgive you, but watch for warning signs that they will hold a grudge forever. If you hear the words "I'm not going to let you forget this," or "I'll be your friend again, but this will change our friendship forever," listen to your gut, and consider letting the relationship go.
6. "This is an explanation, not an excuse. There is no excuse."
Make amends. Think about what caused you to make the offense. Is it because you're a little too laid back about being on time, or remembering important dates? Is it because you tend to react instantly to certain comments, without pausing to consider an alternative point of view? Is it because you are unhappy with your life, and you unknowingly take it out on others? Find the underlying problem, describe it to the person (as an explanation, not an excuse), and tell them what you intend to do to rectify that problem so that you never repeat this mistake again:
* "I snapped at you because I've been so stressed out with work lately, and it's selfish of me to take it out on you. Starting tomorrow, I'm going to cut down my hours to X per week. I really think it'll help me unwind, and help us spend more quality time together."
* "I've been distant and cold because I get paranoid that you're going to walk out on me because I don't have a job. But that's a terrible thing to do.
7. Express your appreciation for the role they play in your life, emphasizing that you do not want to jeopardize or damage the relationship. This is the time to briefly recount what has created and sustained the bond over time and tell loved ones that they are indeed loved. Describe what your life would be missing without their trust and their company.
8. Ask if they will give you a chance to make up for what you did wrong. Insist on proving to them that you have learned from your mistake, and that you will take action to change and grow as a result, if they will let you. Make a clear request for forgiveness and wait for their answer. This gives the injured party the well deserved "power" in determining the outcome of the situation.
9. Be patient. If an apology is not accepted, thank them for hearing you out and leave the door open for if they wish to reconcile later. (E.g. "I understand you're still upset about it, but thanks for giving me the chance to apologize. If you ever change your mind, please give me a call.") If you are lucky enough for your apology to be accepted, avoid the temptation to throw in a few excuses at the end. Instead, have a transition planned out beforehand for what you can do to solidify the clean slate (e.g. "Let's go get some coffee and catch up. It'll be my treat. I miss knowing what you're up to.").
10. Stick to your word. This is the most important step. A true apology entails a resolution, and you have to carry out your promise in order for the apology to be sincere and complete. Otherwise, your apologies will lose their meaning, and trust may disappear beyond the point of no return. Follow through.
Following this tips
* One on one.
If you can, pull the person aside so that you can apologize while you're alone. Not only will this reduce the likelihood of other people influencing the person's decision, but it will also make you a little less nervous. However, if you insulted the person publicly and made him/her lose face, your apology is much more effective if done publicly.
* Use relaxed and humble body language. Keeping your arms crossed or pointing fingers will put the other person on the defensive.
Try this steps
1. Realize that what you did was wrong. and probably hurt this person
2. Realize that there is no excuse. Do not try to think of or offer one. An apology with an excuse is not an apology. Take Full Responsibility.
3. Decide when to apologize. Sometimes immediately after your mistake is best, sometimes not. The sting of a harsh word can be cooled right away with a quick apology, but other offenses might need the other person to cool down before they are willing to even listen to your next sentence. However, the sooner you apologize for your mistake, the more likely it will be viewed as an error in judgment and not a character flaw.
4. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't have said that."
Write your apology down. Construct a letter to the person you're apologizing to, rehearsing what you will say in person. If you don't feel comfortable with writing, then use a voice recorder. Not only will this help you remember what to say when you're face to face with them, but you can also bring the copy with you and hand it to them if you find the apology quite difficult to express. But don't forget that a direct and honest apology is best. Do it face to face, if possible. A phoned, emailed or recorded apology shows a lack of sincerity and effort and should only be a last resort.
5. Begin the apology by naming the offense and the feelings it may have caused. Be specific about the incident so that they know exactly what you're apologizing for. Make it a point to avoid using the word "but". ("I am sorry, but..." means "I am not sorry.") Also, do NOT say "I'm sorry you feel that way" or "I'm sorry if you were offended." Be sorry for what you DID! "I'm sorry you feel that way" makes it see like you are blaming the other person, and is not a real apology. Validate their feelings or discomfort by acknowledging your transgression's (potential) effects, while take responsiblity:
* "Dear, I'm sorry I forgot your birthday - there's no excuse. I hope you don't feel neglected, please let me set this right."
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Following this steps
1. Have a favorite singer, actor, artist, etc.? Write a fan letter!
2. Read a book. There are books on just about every subject. Romance, horror, comedy, books about snimals, hobbies, etc. Find one you like and read!
3. Listen to music. If you get really creative, make up a dance routine to a song!
4. Practice sports so that you can improve on your techniques.
5. Do volunteer work. You can volunteer at a hospital, a animal shelter, nursing home, etc.
6. Follow a recipe and make some kind of food, or make up a new recipe of your own.
7. Start a journal and write in it regularly. All you need is a notebook and a pen or pencil.
8. Reorganize your closet or dresser. Make a place for each different type of clothing you have.
9. Clean your room or do other housework. It may sound boring, but you can make it fun by listening to music and rewarding yourself when you are done. Plus, it will feel good to not have to worry about the mess later.
10. Write a song.
11. Write a poem.
12. Write a story. You don't have to be a great writer. Just think up a plot and give it a go! You can share your story with others or keep it to yourself.
13. Teach yourself how to play an instrument.
14. Exercise. Do basic sit-ups and push-ups, jog, run, walk, and do something fun like swim or play DDR! You will get fit, have more energy, and feel better about yourself.
15. Watch TV or a movie.
16. Play a video game or a copmuter game.
17. Go outside or to a park and try taking beautiful "artsy" type photography.
18. Go to the library.
19. Learn a new language.
20. Write a letter.
21. Make something for someone you care about and give it to them.
22. Get a penpal. You can find one on a number of websites. All you have to do is type in "penpal" on google, and thousands of websites for penpals will come up. Find one around your age and talk to them about life. Plus, if they live in a different country, you can learn about what it's like to live there!
23. Go online and learn everything you can about something you love.
24. Go for a bike ride or go roller skating/blading.
25. Make a scrapbook.
26. Spend time with your pet if you have one. Wash it, walk it, play with it, clean it's cage, etc.
27. Go shopping.
28. Have a picnic by yourself. Pack a lunch and enjoy it in your backyard or at the park.
29. Draw, paint, make pottery, or color.
30. Create a web site about something you love.
31. Go tanning.
32. Take a nap if you are tired.
33. Build a bird house.
34. Make a collage with pictures from magazines.
35. Go outside and plant some flowers.
36. Have a garage sale and sell things that you don't want anymore.
37. Take some advice from Mary Poppins and go fly a kite.
38. Tie-dye a shirt.
39. Start a collection.
40. Learn how to sew, knit, or crochet.
41. Make an online blog.
42. Decorate your room.
43. Create your own holiday and celebrate it.
44. Make jewelry.
45. Make a mix CD of your favorite songs.
46. Go camping in your backyard.
47. Go to the bookstore.
48. Design your own cartoon.
49. Build a fort.
50. Call someone on the phone.
51. Go for a walk.
53. Tired of doing your hair the same old way? Try coming up with new ways to style your hair! Come up with enough styles to do your hair differently for a week, or even a whole month!
54. Start a new hobby.
55. Get a tape recorder and record yourself talking or singing.
56. Make a video.
57. Go fishing.
Make yourself Enjoy Bro…
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
You can do this steps
1. Plan ahead. Before your friend even comes, talk about what you both like to do. The best way to tackle a boring plan-less visit is to create a plan before it happens.
2. Talk with your best friend. Your subjects can include anything that interests the both of you.
3. Ask about his/her life. Discuss what's been going on since you last saw each other- if your best friend seems excited about something, you should be (or appear to be) interested.
4. Ask your friend about going to the movies. Go see the hottest new film that you two have been dying to see- it's likely to give you something to talk about afterwards. Don't force your friend to see something s/he doesn't want to see.
5. Go outside. It's nice to get fresh air every once in awhile. You can go for a walk, swim, or play a sport.
6. Play a game. Do you have a monopoly game sitting around somewhere? Pull it out, and have some fun! However, don't play if it's boring.
7. Browse the internet. The internet has many fun sites and games for the both of you to check out and interest you.
8. Invite other friends over. Other friends can spice things up! You'll have more to talk about, and more people means more ideas about what to do.
Following this tips
* If your friend doesn't like what you both are doing and wants to stop, don't try to convince them otherwise.
* If your friend is staying over for dinner, know what s/he does and does not like.
Be you attention :
* If you invite multiple friends over, some may feel like a "third wheel", meaning they don't feel included. Make sure you provide attention to everyone.
* If you're a computer person and your best friends knows that, don't stay on it forever, you're bezzie will get annoyed
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Nothing to do on a Saturday night and Monopoly and TV sound lame? This article will help you have a fun night at home on Saturday night!
Following this steps :
1. Have a space where you can have indoor and outdoor fun. Like a backyard, a deck, a living room,a garage, or even a cottage.
2. For a really cool idea build a home bar. You will need a nice bar, bar stools, a sink, glasses, fruit, neon lights, the works. You can have drinks, but they don't have to be alchoholic.
3. Have couches and tables around randomly, and have plenty of floor space for inside.
4. If your place is outside, make sure it is cleaned and kept well; fix up any old furniture and keep your lawn nice and green if you can. Have lights outside for the night so people can see.
5. If you are on a low budget work with what you have; fix up old things for your space that people can have fun in, like covers for old furniture, put your biggest TV in your fun room, buy used things that you can pick up at second hand stores, wherever.
This is tips for you,hope is useful
* Learn to play poker, since it is a great game to play and it takes up a good chunk of the night.
* Have a pool table and practice every night and invite a few people over to play pool once in awhile.
* Rent some old movies. New ones are good too, but old ones are fun to watch too, or more unknown movies.
* Play hide and go seek in the woods
* If your fun place is a garage buy an old junk car or pedal bike and fix it up into the coolest thing ever.
* Campfires are great to hang out at, whether you're 10 and telling ghost stories, young and snuggling with your girlfriend/boyfriend, having a good time with friends, it's all good.
* Get your friends in on this too, and every week you go to someone else's house. (This is great if you are on a low budget.) So maybe one week you play a game at a friend's house, then play pool next week at someone else's house, have a campfire at your place and the week after that you party at someone else's house.
* Get a girl/boyfriend
* Don't spend a lot of money and instead use what you've got. for a cool movie look turn the lights off cook up some popcorn and let your kids(if you have any)
* invite a friend over or invite one of your friends over.buy some ice cream or ice blocks, get some pillows and make a your couch look cool and soft.If its cold make up some hot chocolate and put some yummy stuff in it. try to have a little interruption (like the phone ringing and people coming to your door) as possible and have a good time.
HAVE FUN GUY AND GIRLS
Friday, June 13, 2008
7. Be sociable and friendly. In order to be fun to be with, you'll need to build some new relationships so people start noticing you. Be friendly to everyone--people who were mean to you, that guy that sits next to you in math class, your team captain--everyone. Treat your new friendships well. Praise them, cheer them up when they're down. Joke with them (not at them), help them, invite them to parties, etc. Just be yourself, and be a people person. Be friendly, kind, giving, caring, generous, learn about them, and make the want to know more about you. Be mysterious and intriguing! It totally works.
8. Dont be afraid to really go out there! If you are afraid of people thinking you are weird, strange, etc., just think of the bright side. You don't need them, and hey! you're trying to meet new people anyway, so it will take your mind off the negatives.Plus who cares about what anyone else thinks. Don't let anyone be an azz and label u. Be who you want to be and dont be afraid to be yourself. People hate phonies!! So go out there and rock the real u.
This is a Tips for you,hope useful
* Save some time each day for your own needs.
* Don't be afraid to be yourself, whether or not it overlaps or doesn't overlap with other people's interests. Be interested.
* Always pursue knowledge. Knowing a lot will help you become wittier.
* Know your limits, and let other people know those limits too.
* Always be trustful and honest. Be genuine and don't gossip about others.
Remember don’t do this :
* Don't only pay attention to being fun. You need to keep a more serious side and let it show at appropriate times too. If your friend is asking you for support through hard times, you need to take that as your responsibility and show them that you're a friend worth keeping. Same thing goes with your parents--show them that you deserve more freedom by doing what they say and being responsible.
* Don't try to make people think you are fun. It comes off as phony and pushy.
* Don't laugh at people. Laugh with them. It's good to laugh at yourself, though. You have to in order to stay happy through your mistakes and failures.
* Be aware that the kind of fun you're having is healthy, legal, and doesn't cause anyone any harm, including yourself.
This is the steps
2. Smile and laugh. Laugh because people like people who laugh with them (not at them). This makes people happy and brightens the way they think of you. It makes you seem like you truly love life and you can deal with any problems that you have to face. Be a happy person, not ditsy and uncaring, but optimistic. Think about the people you most enjoy being with, usually they are always on the up and up. There are times to be sad, but they should not take up a majority of your time.
3. Make eye contact. This is very important because it makes people feel like they have all of your attention, you are listening, interested in what they have to say and they are getting the attention that they deserve. It also makes you seem more trustworthy, honest, and open. If you are always shifting your eyes around and looking at everything but the person you're talking to, people will think that you don't care what they have to say or you have something to hide.
4. Be active. Are you having fun when you are sitting at a bench, looking down and not doing anything at all? In order to be fun to be with, you need to be active, to stand up, to be creative. Maybe do a "happy dance" when something good happens, take up a sport, or twirl around to cheer someone up. It works!
5. Be curious. Know what you'll be doing later. If you get turned down or rejected, move on. You never know what's going to happen until you try. Always try to seek out more knowledge or skill in an area that interests you. It will really improve your character. Go ride a bike past the local park or walk to the nearest local hangout spot because you never know who you'll meet.
6. Care about yourself. In order to be a fun person, you must be confident. Also, physically take care of yourself--practice personal hygiene, Eat Healthy for Life, and Get Fit.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Following this steps
1. Get out piece of paper or a pen. Write the most funnest things that you can think of. Write them ALL DOWN so you wont forget them.
2. Let's say bowling. Use the things in your house like an rolling office chair and some stuffed animals or something light to knock over.
3. Roll yourself into the "pins" and see how many you knock down and maybe if there's two or more players keep score!
4. Or make a fake news cast with your camcorder or camera. It can be stupid or for reals.
5. Do some kind of craft, or bake something. Maybe even put something gross together in a bowl and challenge your friends to eat it.
6. Just be random or retarded! say hi to some random guy and see what they do.
7. Prank call someone.
8. Say hi to some random guy and see what they do. Say "I like hot dogs or "hi random guy"
9. Go on your street and chase after random cars and just run, wave, and smile. VIDEO TAPE IT!
10. OR JUST PLAIN GO OUTSIDE! ENJOY GOD'S CREATION! GET FRESH AIR!!! LOVE AND APPRECIATE WHAT HE'S GIVEN YOU!
You can do this tips
* make sure to smile about whatever you're doing!
* don't think about the things that hurt your feelings or something bad that's happened at school or else YOU WONT HAVE ANY FUN! [gasp!]
* don't be so random and stupid that you get in trouble or break the laws or just get annoying.
* make sure that you're on a hard floor when "bowling".
* when prank calling, make sure the person isn't busy or doing something important.
* WHEN BOWLING, DO IT AWAY FROM ANY OBJECT THAT YOU MAY BUMP INTO AND BREAK.
* DO NOT DAMAGE ANYONE'S PROPERTY OR THEIR FEELINGS. [ YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE HAVING A BAD DAY?]
SPECIAL REGARDS TO : AMANDA W. FROM
Monday, June 9, 2008
1. The best place to be a party boy is in school, college, the office, etc. For school you'll want to do it on the last day so you won't get in a lot of (if any) trouble
2. First, choose your location. Assuming it's the last day of school, you will find many groups of people sitting in assemblies, getting their yearbooks signed, and so on and so forth.
3. Burn Party Boy on your iPod or better, a CD. You can get speakers for your iPod, but those are often difficult to carry, and you're better with a CD and radio, as they are also louder.
4. If you have the music ready to go, and you're in a good crowd, get ready to party boy! Try getting every body's attention by yelling or blowing a whistle.
5. If you're really serious, you can pull off your pants and wear a G-String, but normal clothes and dancing is just fine for the students.
6. Don't be shy. It's not funny when you're dancing on a vending machine or just hopping around. When you see a shy and awkward little girl, go up and harass her! When you see your best friend, freak him out! Best though, is when you see your crush, and go harass her -you get the point.
7. In school the main thing to do is to get everybody. Even if you're the stupid little freshman, you have to get the ripped gym teacher and tallest senior in sight.
* Don't be shy!!! Look and act excited, like you want to party!
* Don't dance on the same people for five minutes, or it gets boring.
* Party Boy EVERYBODY-not just your best friends.
* Don't get into too much trouble, but don't stop when a teacher freaks out at you.
* Don't hurt anybody accidentally
* Don't get in too much trouble
Saturday, June 7, 2008
16. Tip well. Nothing spreads a bad reputation like being a cheap party girl. Make sure if someone is buying for you that they also tip well. Bad tipping can make you guilty by association. If you're with a bad tipper, throw them some extra.
17. Consider the alternatives. Instead of alcohol, drink up those energy drinks!! Red Bull, Full Throttle, Monster etc are a perfect substitute for alcohol.
* Actually they are better because they give you energy, don't cause hangovers, and you're still going to be aware of what you are doing.
* You get to laugh at all the drunk people making fools of themselves.
18. Make sure you say goodbye to everyone and get numbers from new party contacts before you head home
19. Review the night's events with your friends and make sure you remember names and events for future reference.
Remember this tips
* If you think someone is trouble, simply stay away from them.
* Don't be shy! Make sure to introduce yourself to everyone new.
* Don't throw yourselves at boys because they think it's sexy. Your only acting like a slut and making girls think your a slut, etc.
* Always act like a lady. You can party like the queen and still have an excellent status the next weekend.
* Attitude is everything. Be you, but more mysterious and catchy.
For you attention :* Don't drink if your under 21, you can still have a GREAT time without alcohol.
* Since I already told you not to drink, they you shouldn't need the lesson about drinking and driving.
* Never drink and drive! Very bad things could happen. If you have no ride home and others have been drinking make sure you don't get in the car with a drunk or drive. Call a cab or stay with a friend.
* If your over 21 and drinking, cover your drink at all times! You don't want people to slip something in your drink! If you're a familiar in the club scene the staff will watch out for you but you must still be cautious.
* DO NOT drink alcohol if you are under 21. This is illegal in the
Try this steps
1. "Love" everybody, don't actually care about anybody! Make many fake friends everywhere you go!!! Exchange numbers and business cards.
2. Associate with those in the VIP or who seem well connected.
3. Find out who the owners and managers of the bar or nightclub are, get introduced by mutual friends. Buy them shots (good ones and not sorority shots). Also do the same for the bartenders.
4. Appear available without actually being available. You don't want to lose your status by socializing with the wrong men.
5. Pose for pictures being taken by your or your friends cameras but avoid photographic evidence taken by others, especially the bar's PR person. Play hard to get and insist on approval of any picture taken.
6. Do your hair and make up tastefully. Don't look too fake or slutty unless the occasion calls for it and you already have your party girl status. Having it gives you latitude on sick days and holidays.
7. Change your hair styles. It's OK to spend time on your hair but the real party girls look ready for the party without looking like they've tried too hard.
8. Don't dress in a tasteless way. Really. You reputation could go from "cool party girl" to "easy girl". Even though ALL party girls want the life, no one wants the reputation of a whore. Jeans are almost always the best pick. A great heel is essential. Don't forget to accessorize. Skirts aren't really good for dancing.
9. Dance if you can do it well. Avoid dancing with random men or anyone who can damage your status. You're better off not dancing and partying at the bar than dancing with shady characters.
10. Find yourself a few friends to go with and a designated driver if you are planning on drinking.
11. Find a party, make sure you're welcome and maybe call around to see if you have some friends there.
12. Arrive fashionably late.
13. Always dress in line but not identical to your friends. If it's a more casual go-out night you should all be on the same page. You don't want anyone in a cocktail dress with everyone else in jeans.
14. Find the bar. A true party girl already has carnal knowledge of the bartenders and they should have your first drink ready before you even ask.
15. Know how to hold your booze. No one likes a sloppy drunk. (Be careful, pace yourself, know your limits, you can be tipsy or slightly drunk and still have lots of fun. Do not risk getting alcohol poisoning, which is very easy to do! Also you can be a great party girl without any alcohol.)
* Bartenders, bar and club staff can usually drink most people under the table. Use caution when they're buying. It can get ugly fast as they mix liquors that some may not be able to tolerate.
* Learn to dump shots or drink half shots.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Do it this
1. In order for her to miss you when you aren't around, you have to leave and ending impression with the last time you see her. Say something that makes her think. Say something that is kind of confusing, like on of those things that drives you crazy if you cant think of it.
2. Whenever you talk to her, seem kind of uninterested in conversation with her. Not like rudely uninterested, but enough that it makes her want to talk to you more.
3. Don't seem too enthusiastic about things. Lie if she says something like okay well ill see you tomorrow or whatever, just be like yea, see yeah. Don't be all bye! Just take everything easy when your around.
4. Joke around with her. Lie say things that are kind of mean, poke fun at her, jokingly of course. This way, it shows her that you can have a good time, but you aren't obsessed with her, and your a fun person to be around.
5. The next time you see her, don't be afraid to say "did you miss me?" most people would take that in a i know you missed me, don't lie about it, you cant stand being away from me, but jokingly type of way.
Good Luck bro……
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
This is the steps
2. Look at her sometimes. Don't stare at her for a long time, but if she likes you she would be happy if you noticed her. If you look at her, and she looks back at you, smile.
3. Sit next to her. If you are going to sit down, sit next to her. If you are standing in a room, walk over to her and say hi.
4. Ask her out. If you are standing outside a classroom waiting to enter, go up to her and say hello, or hi. Ask her out, and then ask her for her phone number (But only if she looks like she is able to get out a piece of paper and write down her number.) If she likes you, she would probably say yes.
5. Plain and simple, tell her, get right to the point. However, make sure its just the two of you.
6. Make eye contact. It shows confidence.
* Don't forget that she likes you! If she really, really likes you it would be okay if anything embarrassing to you happened when you were asking her out- for example, dropping all your papers on the floor right when talking to you. (She might even think it's cute!)
* Don't ignore her. If you do ignore her, she will think you don't like her.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
17. Recognize that often the more you like her, the harder it will be for you to try to develop a relationship. Don't let this happen - have self confidence because if you don't go after it, someone else will.
18. Play with kids. Girls notice this right away, especially if you are enjoying the kids & they are enjoying you. Guys that play with kids appear tender & compassionate. But don't be Mister Touchy Feely GUY! If you are a kid or teen, do it with pets or babies. Maybe a babysitting date would be good? (BUT ONLY IF YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE ENOUGH FOR IT! If you aren't, don't sweat it. You are a great guy with a lot to offer.
19. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, learn a musical instrument, like a guitar, saxophone, or something else unique. It sets you apart from other guys. Guys who are musically inclined are a definite turn-on. Girls see them as sexy & passionate. If you don't play an instrument, but your girl does, really listen to her music. Most musicians feel their music is a part of who they are. Never make fun. (Remember: It is easy to lose interest in a instrument, so make sure you really want to do it. Not just for this girl.)
20. Be a gentleman. Some girls may be uncomfortable with this, as they aren't used to receiving any kind of special treatment, but most girls will appreciate it. A guy who opens doors for girls, holds an umbrella for them when it's raining, talks to girls with respect & not like they're "one of the guys", etc. will definitely catch a girl's eye. Keep in mind that the kind of girls that really love it when guys act like gentlemen probably will not make the first move, even if they really like you.
21. You only live once. Take a risk. If she says no, keep on rolling! Its only 1 girl, there are other fish in the sea.
Wacth this tips
* Don't ever try too hard, she'll lose interest fast. Make sure she sees you laughing with your guy friends occasionally. When you make time for her, don't rub it in, but certainly on a here and there basis it may be in your favor to let her know you made the time available, it certainly wasn't out of desperation or lack of things or women to do. She needs to know you have an independent life outside of her.
* Make friends with her friends. They may just tell her you're a great guy. Don't get involved with any of them, though.
* Make the first move! Courage is attractive.
* Bring up the gossip from other people, it gets her excited.
* Profanity is not the answer to trying to look cool or tough.
* Swearing isn't great you're not going to win any hands by being a potty mouth.
* Smile. It's charming.
* Stand up for her. If you see someone bullying her or just being a jerk to her, go up to them (in front of her) and say, "Hey, man, knock it off, okay?" Don't act all tough guy or anything. Just be confident.
* If you happen to embaress yourself just laugh at it. Girls love someone who can just like that. But never laugh at someone else laugh with them
* Sometimes the ones that are not so popular are the best ones for you.
* Make sure that the object of your affection doesn't have a boyfriend. Be subtle in determining whether or not she has a boyfriend [for example, look for a ring]. It's generally not recommended to ask her directly, as it tends to come off as brash and self-centered.
* Wink at her
* Take out a pen and write your number on her hand, then say "call me" in a deep (not too deep or fake) voice. Do it and look in her eyes smile and walk away, you have her.
* Compliments makes a girl feel good about herself and more willing to open up to you!
* Joke with her. Doing that makes her sure that you are confident and have a sense of humor.
* Try to be her friend first.
* Don't just go up to her and ask her out first. Start a conversation and go from there.
* Try not to embarrass yourself.
* When conversing with her as well as other females, position yourself closer to her. No matter who the other person is, do it. It shows that you're into her. It's subtle body language.
* Don't use cheesy pick-up lines such as "Do you have a mirror in your pocket?..." This is pointless and will most likely ruin it for you.
* Randomly walk up to her and give her a compliment and walk away. This will make her happy and become interested in you.
* Give her a hug from behind and hold her for a few seconds. But don't be too clingy. Its really annoying when a guy wont leave a girl alone.
* If you make fun of her she probably will not become interested, and might even become angry with you.
* If she's shy don't automatically dismiss her and talk to someone else, you were the one who was interested in her first
Good Luck and hope success to you……
This is the steps
1. DON'T CHANGE WHO YOU ARE FOR HER! Be yourself, and if she doesn't like you for that then she isn't right for you. The last thing you need is a girl who's not interested in the real you. No matter how gorgeous or fantastic she is - it isn't worth it!
2. Always smell fresh and clean.Bad breath will be something you regret. Brush your teeth, style your hair, and dress well enough that it is obvious to her that you know how to take care of yourself (FYI - even this starting point will rank you way past most of the guys out there)
3. Wear cologne. Not too much, but enough so that the girl will recognize it when in proximity of you. When picking out cologne, try to stick to the same type and try to avoid common scents - but don't go with an scent that is too unfamiliar. Get a few tester bottles (these are free) and wear each one on separate days. You are doing this so you can figure out which you like the most and which works best for your chemistry. You may do different variations of scent as well. Using natural extract oils, such as lavender, vanilla, and the like will give you a unique smell (most natural foods stores will have these items) at a lower cost.
4. Listen when you engage in conversation. Girls can tell if you are distracted or if you don't really care about the subject. They know these things, regardless if you think they can't tell. By listening, you show that you genuinely care about her and her interests (plus, everyone loves talking about themselves, even more, they love people who want to hear them talk). Also, when engaging in conversation don't second guess yourself when you speak. There will be a point when you need to discuss your interests and preferred activities. Do not ask for their approval, but keep the dialog about your respective self short and never incriminating nor negative. This will generate both "mystery" and a sense of decency of your persona matched with beautiful confidence and conciseness.
5. Pay attention to the details. When you're dressing, do you look like every other boy? Flipped up collar, same shoes, same look, same talk. Time to change, baby. Find something custom to you, whether it is how you wear your belts, your shirts, hat(s), any form of jewelry, whatever! This shouldn't be overdone. Really be your self, what we mean here is, be who you are. Confidence is key, but play a LITTLE hard to get! It should be a reflection of yourself and your difference among "all the other boys." Don't be scared to stand out. Women will associate your attention to the details with how serious you are about them.
6. Be sure to notice the little touches to dress and style that she may have added. Pass a compliment that is one of a kind and you may have just struck the strings of her heart, example: "wow, I love the pink with green eye shadow you use, it's so vivid." She took some time doing that, so you'd better take note.
7. Pay attention to your hair and eyes. These are two of the most important features of all when a girl is checking out a guy. Hair should be clean, properly conditioned, but it's also very hot when a guy's hair has a messy style.[Messy as in clean, but not brushed] As for eyes, there really isn't much that you can control. Contacts are an option, but aren't natural and can be misleading.
8. Make eye contact, hold for 4 seconds, look away. Repeat. But looking at them directly in the eyes during conversation and not jolting side-to-side will gain their trust and probably their respect, and should be done for maybe 9 seconds. But, don't focus on counting. Just do what is confortable for her. Show her some love boy!
9. Keep in shape, but don't obsess. It probably wouldn't hurt to do some basic crunches and push ups each day. You'll feel better about yourself internally and look better externally. If you have any sports such as running, bicycling, hiking, if you exploit them in a positive manner, you may find yourself unintentionally exercising and accidentally gaining a more attractive physique. Either way, you'll do fine, unless you are extremely overweight, in which case, this article may not help you.
10. Be funny at times, but also sincere too. If you look deep into her eyes at some point, even if it's just to thank her for something, she'll be won over; this has got to be done sparingly! No girl wants a boy who is overly serious and always sincere, so just make sure it's tactfully implemented. Give her a taste and then immediately switch to something funny or irrelevant. If you linger in her eyes too long, she'll get seriously creeped out!
11. Realize that personality is the basis of all attraction. Be nice, polite, sensitive and aware of our female needs, and don't be afraid to use those brains of yours! Every girl under the sun believes the intelligent male is as sexy as it gets, especially when it is accompanied by wit, style and personality. It is a serious turn on when a guy shows a little intellect every once in a while.
12. Don't be jealous. You're not committed, so just smile and go with the flow. If she introduces a guy friend to you, smile, say hello and immediately shake his hand and make small talk. If you're confident in yourself, she will more likely be confident in you, too. Plus, she may ask the guy friend later what he thinks about you, & you want to make a good impression.
13. Learn that women love a confident man. They are extremely adept determining your level of confidence reading your non-verbal communication. They will pick-up your non-verbal signals that you wouldn't even have a clue about.
14. If you are at a bar or a club, and you see a girl you want to talk too, try to be calm, and get eye contact first, you can see if she finds you interesting, and then make your move! Good luck!
15. See if you like any thing she does. If you do talk to her about that stuff.
16. Talk about things in your life that relate to hers, and then let her converse with you. Everyone likes to talk about their lives, and what better way to talk about it than with someone else sharing their interests?