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Sunday, May 18, 2008


Be creative.
Take a little time to think it through.

A three-hour date with a movie that lasts two and a half-hours is not a good way to get acquainted.

Then again, you don't want to be stuck staring at each other without a topic of conversation.

A daytime meeting takes the heat off.

Lunch or coffee is a good start
(If you want to checkout a local spot to meet for lunch, you can go to Dine.com, enter your zip code and get ratings for restaurants in your area.)

Even better - a trip to the zoo.

Plenty of topics for discussion without having to deal with issues like: "What happened to your last relationship?"
And you can avoid the usual casual chit-chat like:

"My wife is still missing."

"I met my first boyfriend on the prison bus."

Yada. Yada. Yada.


Clothing is not optional.

Wear clothes that make you feel good.

New clothes always help - but if not new, be sure they're clean, pressed, and fit well - or if that's not your style - be sure they fit whatever way makes you feel the most comfortable and still look presentable.

Help the Other Person Feel Comfortable

Find something nice about your date and compliment her or him.

But mean it. Don't just say, "Nice shoes, Gladys."

"Swell belt, Ralph."

Let's review.

Find something nice. If it's painfully difficult to come up with something that you sincerely like about the person, you shouldn't be out with them in the first place.

Manners and/or Kindness

Thank the other person for the date - always, without exception.
Good manners are still in style. Well, not necessarily good manners - but common sense. Human kindness. That sort of thing is always in style.

Focus on the Other Person - pay attention to your date.
No wandering eyes. No preoccupation with old relationships, work, bank robberies.

Listen actively to what your date says.
Don't interrupt. While your date is talking, don't spend time thinking about what you're going to say when it's your turn.

Attitudes and Habits - stay positive.
Don't complain on a first date.
Be cautious about alcohol - if you drink heavily, you're not going to be at your best.
If your date gets swacked on your first date, it's not necessarily due to nervousness.
He or she is likely to be a heavy-drinker, at best, and could end up drooling on your new, pressed clothes as you shovel him or her into a cab.

Date ideas for the week:

Take a class together.
Or cut to the chase with a massage class.

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