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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A Friend Need You After a Breakup #1

"I've been dumped." No one wants to hear that from their best friend. Want to know how to make them smile? Try This

1. Let them get all their anger out. Let them cry and sob. Let them punch pillows.
2. Be totally on their side and say that it is the other person's loss and they're not worth it, they're better off without that person, they always deserve better, etc.
3. Try and cheer them up! Joke about or put on a comedy and giggle! Even just everyday things can be made funny . . .just don't try too hard.
4. Do something spontaneous that will make them laugh. For example, make a "get lost in the hall and meet your ex" survival kit. Include things that will make them laugh.
5. Encourage them to think about the positive aspects of their break up - e.g. - more freedom, the chance to meet a new person for a fresh and exciting relationship, more money to spend on themselves, nobody to answer to.
6. Tell them that many great works of art have been born out of pain and anguish - especially the kind of pain and anguish delivered upon us by our boyfriends/girlfriends. If they're not creative then suggest that they become creative in order to express the way they feel. Talking is good - and a form of creativity - but it's good to write, sing, paint...if they have any hobbies, passions then suggest they immerse themselves in them for a while. There's nothing better for the healing process than feeling that the blow you've suffered has actually had a positive outcome.
7. Exercise works wonders. Just think how your ex will feel when he sees your new impressive physique - and maybe even the attractive new boyfriend/girlfriend you have as a result of that physique...but what's even more important is the proven positive effect that exercise has on the body and mind. Take your friend to the gym.
8. Discourage them from thinking that all women/men are evil or fickle. Not everyone is evil, when just one person hurts you.
9. Discourage them from feelings of guilt. At some they're bound to start thinking 'I was a bad person,' or 'I'm a bad person - that's why he/she dumped me. Why did I say that? Why did I do that? I'm scum. I should call him/her up and let them know that I've finally come to terms with my own vile nature - maybe if he/she sees that I'm no longer in denial they'll believe I'm willing to change...' This is a bad idea. If they've dumped you - they're probably no longer concerned with whether you can change or not. And besides - they've heard it all before...right? Your friend may feel that they've finally learned their lesson - and that's a positive thing - but tell them they should try and apply what they've learned to a new relationship.

it's not end yet,please wait next post..

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