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Monday, June 23, 2008

Time to Be a Good Listener #3

There Tips For You

* Never criticize while listening, and never attack another person for his or her feelings. This spoils your reputation as a listener and will completely remove the speaker's motivation to speak up.
* Listening is about creating a caring environment in which the other person feels encouraged by your ability to understand.
* Don't judge anyone for their opinion or actions. Remember you, like everyone else has done or felt something you're not proud of now. ask yourself 'Who am I to judge anyone?'
* The more you listen, the more trusted you become.
* The more difficult listening becomes, the more important it is to listen.
* Remember that when your counterpart feels that he or she has been listened to, he or she is much more likely to listen to your ideas. On the contrary, if no one ever listened to each other, then they would fall victim to bad listening, and would not have a chance to fully express themselves. Your desire to express should begin with listening well to others.
* Postpone an important conversation if you are not in the mood to listen. It is better to not talk about it if you are not ready than to try to force through a conversation where you are too distracted by emotions, worries, and other things that prevent you from listening.
* Avoid phrases that imply that you have not listened fully to the points communicated to you such as "Yeah but..." Instead, learn to use phrases that provide confirmation that you have heard the other side fully, such as "I see. Now tell me what you would say to this..."
* Keep in mind that sometimes we need to listen "between the lines," but there are times when we need to absorb things at face value. When we listen intensively, our minds are often busy placing what we hear into the situation and our emotions, which creates barriers to our ability to listen fully what is being said. This is similar to making judgments and drawing conclusions before all has been said. Don't do that. Take it at its face value and go with the flow.
Remember this warnings

* Never assume that what worked for you will work for everyone else as well.
* Never try to fit in your biographical account and "been-there-done-that" experiences into what the speaker is saying. It is better to keep quiet, even if you have had the same problem a year ago and you know how to work your way out. If you listen well, it is quite possible that your suggestions and experience will be solicited later on.
* If you find yourself formulating a response before the other person has finished speaking, you are not listening.
* The more confident you are in your own idea, the more you should be willing to suspend that point of view for the moment.
* If a person pauses as if trying to think of the right word, don't jump in with a word of your own. Some people are careful about their choice of words. It doesn't mean they need help. Finishing someone's thought is rude and disruptive.


Our Love Story said...

wow... this is awesome! really, this depicts a good listener! thanks for sharing! you know i'm learning a lot from your page! take care! and have a wonderful day!

Inaj said...


Randeep said...

Nice points. May i copy this n publish in my blog so that my friends can read it..